


104 Days of Summer Vacation

by SuperGayDad1000



Category: South Park
Genre: Casa Bonita, Eric Cartman Being Eric Cartman, Kyley-B makes an appearance, M/M, Pre-Slash, Slut Vibes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:47:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28518852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperGayDad1000/pseuds/SuperGayDad1000
Summary: It's the summer before 12th grade, the boys are bored as hell, a spur of the moment trip to Casa Bonita ensues.
Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Eric Cartman
Kudos: 26





	104 Days of Summer Vacation

**Author's Note:**

> This is my secret santa gift to the lovely SilverShroud, <3 Hope you like it!

104 Days of Summer Vacation...

It had only been a week of summer vacation, yet the four best friends were bored as hell. Earlier in the morning they had stopped by Mackey’s yard sale, another one of his attempts at insisting he wasn’t a hoarder, and they bought one of those plastic kiddie pools off him for 3 bucks. After pulling some fold out chairs from the garage and filling the pool with the hose the four lounged in Kyle’s backyard. At some point Stan had disappeared inside to find a drink and Kenny had ended up sprawled across a lawn chair napping, his novelty pineapple shaped sunglasses slowly falling off his face. A few feet away Cartman and Kyle were lounging in the pool, or lounging as much as they could when Cartman’s fat ass was displacing half the water and Kyle had his knees scrunched up so his legs could fit in the damn thing. Kyle got a sense of dejaVu being in a small pool with Cartman and actually getting along with the guy, but he brushed it off and laid back and closed his eyes. Cartman was not having it though, he was bored so the logical next step was to start poking Kyle’s shoulder, to which Kyle ignored, wondering how long it took Stan to get a fucking soda. Cartman was not satisfied with Kyle’s response though as he kept poking and less than 30 seconds had passed before Kyle snapped open his eyes and whipped his head around, “What do you want?! I’m right here, just say it!” Cartman shrugged like he wasn’t guilty of repeatedly annoying the shit out of Kyle, “This is fucking boring dude.” Kyle hated to agree with Cartman, so he nodded noncommittally. Cartman didn’t stop to acknowledge this though and he waved his hands while he continued talking, “remember when we used to do cool shit over the summer, like wrestlemania, and hunting with Stan’s Uncle Jimbo, and lighting cow turds on fire, I mean we went to Peru for chrissake.” Kyle scrunched his eyebrows, “First of all we can go light some cow turds on fire right now if you really want to and second of all we didn’t even have fun in Peru, we were going to get murdered by giant guinea pigs.” Cartman gestured around him, “the point is we can do better than this Kyle.” Kyle crossed his arms, “And what were you thinking?” Cartman leaned in close enough that Kyle could smell the gum he was chewing, strawberry lemonade. Alternatively Cartman seemed to enjoy the dramatic effect of lingering in Kyle’s personal space, but if Kyle felt any emotion towards this he didn’t show it and Cartman finally breathed it out... “Casa Bonita.” Kyle scowled, “this shit again, no, and before you ask again that’s the final answer,” Cartman started whining “But Kyyyyyyyyyyyle it will be so much fun, imagine all the authentic ethnic food, the treasure cove, and don’t forget the divers.” “No, no, and no, it’s only a fun experience for you.” At this moment Stan decided to finally make his return, “Hey guys, sorry I took so long, I ran into Jesus at the liquor store and you know how much he likes to talk.” Kyle raised his eyebrows for what seemed like the umpteenth time today, “Dude, why didn’t you just get a soda from the fridge?” “All you had was Coke and I like Pepsi, so I walked to 7/11.” After a beat of awkward silence Cartman piped up, “Hey Stan, how do you feel about a trip to Casa Bonita?” “Don’t answer that,” Kyle immediately interjected. Stan took a moment to scratch his invisible chin hairs, “I mean a trip would be fun, way more fun than this.” Cartman’s squeal was enough to wake Kenny up from his deep sleep, “Who, what, where are we going?” Kyle raised his voice, “Anywhere but Casa Bonita- I swear to God” “Wait Casa Bonita? Hell yeah I love tacos” Kenny said, “No NOT Casa Bonita!” Kyle was yelling at this point. “Kyle is this because you hate Mexicans, that’s not very PC of you” Cartman said. Stan shook his head, “Yeah dude, not cool, maybe we should go so you can learn Mexicans are people too.” “ARggh!” Kyle yelled before falling back, sloshing the water in the kiddie pool, and crossing his arms. Cartman, still sitting beside him, slung his arm around Kyle’s shoulders, “C’mon Kyle, this’ll be fun, like the good old days.” Kenny whooped in response and Kyle muttered “If those were the good days I'm scared of what constitutes as the bad days.”

It was too late in the day for them to drive into Denver, so the four, albeit Kyle reluctantly, agreed to leave the next day in the late morning. When they piled in Stan’s mom’s station wagon Kenny had attached himself to the front passenger seat claiming he couldn’t sit in the back because Cartman would give him cooties. Cartman actually preferred sitting in the back anyways because he could lay his feet across the seats, Kyle though, was unamused by the fact that he had to sit in the back with Cartman and chided himself for running late this morning and allowing Kenny to show up first. Cartman thought it would be funny to buy them all “authentic” Mexican ponchos and Stan and Kenny excitedly put them on, but Kyle folded his up and slid it on the car floor, disgusted with their blatant cultural appropriation. “Kyle, why aren’t you wearing your poncho, it’s very authentic” Cartman said. Kyle rolled his eyes, “authentic my ass, you got this at Walmart”, “No I didn’t,” Kyle picked up the poncho “the tag is still on it dipwad, some child labor slaves in Taiwan probably made this.” Cartman simultaneously snatched the poncho from Kyle’s hands and unbuckled Kyle’s seatbelt, “Dude Stan’s driving right now, why the hell did you do that?”, “So I could do this'' Cartman said before pulling Kyle in and attempting to wrangle the poncho on his lanky form, although this was easier said than done as Kyle started blindly punching around him and occasionally landing blows. The situation was quickly devolving until an increasingly annoyed Stan pulled the car over and leaned around to face the backseat, “Kyle I have had enough of your complaining, Cartman bought us ponchos and you’re gonna put one on, I know you’re afraid of Mexicans but suck it up, I don’t want any more horse pucky while we’re driving.” While hiding his grin Kenny shook his head in mock disappointment at Kyle. Kyle threw up his hands, “I’m not afraid of Mexicans goddamnit! Give me the stupid poncho” and he shoved over his head. Satisfied with this interaction Stan returned to the road and they were on their way. After a 2 hour car ride with Kenny, Stan, and Cartman joyfully singing 99 bottles of Beer on the wall Kyle was ready to shank a bitch. It was early afternoon and still too early for dinner so they opted to go to the aquarium to pass some time. While Stan, Kenny, and Cartman were petting stingrays Kyle excused himself to go sit on the shark deck and have a moment of peace. Although this moment didn’t last long when a certain bane of his existence sidled up to him, “Aww Kyle, maybe your period cramps will go away once we get some delicious tacos in you.” Kyle sighed, “Did it ever occur to you that maybe you’re the one cramping my style?” Cartman looked taken aback, “Without me you wouldn’t have the motivation to do anything outside of your comfort zone, face it, I am the light of your life,” Cartman finished that last phrase with a tip of his head and a coy wink. “Strong words coming from someone who accused me of committing 9-11 and gets me sent to the principal’s office every other week.” Cartman waved his hand, “Water under the bridge Kyle, admit it, you need me.” Kyle rolled his eyes, “I don’t know what this has to do with you dragging me to Casa Bonita.” “It doesn’t, you’ve just been a complaining pussy all morning and I need you to shape up by dinner, turns out it’s costume night at Casa Bonita by the way, so we’re gonna go shopping soon.” Kyle groaned, “Okay fine, i’m gonna grab an espresso from the food court before we head out though, I have the biggest headache.” Cartman just raised his eyebrows and went back to pet the stingrays while Kyle got up to find the food court.

Another two hours later they found themselves at Party City. “I forgot how trashy this place is” Kenny said while eyeing a catboy maid outfit, “Kenny don’t act like you aren’t in your element right now” Cartman sneered. Kenny shrugged while pulling the costume from the shelf, “you’re just jealous that you’re not skinny enough to pull it off, fatass.” Stan snorted and Cartman huffed and waddled off to another aisle. Kyle turned to face Stan, “So why are we doing this again?” Stan perused the shelf in front of him, “It’s costume night at Casa Bonita remember? I’m glad Cartman checked the website for tonight’s events, that would have been embarrassing to show up without a costume.” Kyle shook his head, “No that’s not what I meant, why are we doing this? Why are we here in Denver, with Kenny about to dress up as a catboy maid to eat fake Mexican food,” Stan patted Kyle’s back, “Dude you gotta let go of this Mexican thing, you’ll have fun soon” and he turned back to continue scanning the costumes on the shelf. “What the fuck have I gotten myself into” Kyle muttered while rubbing his scalp. Stan turned around again, “Kyle, think of it this way, we’re not gonna know anyone there, it’s our last summer before we go to high school for the last time, I mean unless one of us gets held back, but the point is you should live a little, we’ve done way weirder stuff than this.” At that moment, in all his slutty glory, Cartman found his way back to Kyle and Stan, “Hey guys, remember that time I dressed up as a prostitute and tried to get on Maury in 4th grade, well she’s back,” the cheetah print top, the zebra print booty shorts, the fishnets, the go go boots, it was all too much and Kyle lost it laughing. In fact he physically fell over onto Stan laughing. It didn’t help when a 6 foot something tall Kenny rocking a mean 5 o’clock shadow waltzed over in his catboy maid outfit. At this point Kyle wasn’t breathing because he was laughing so hard. About 5 minutes later Kyle caught his breath and looked back at the incredulous stares he was receiving, “Fuck it, guess we’re going out as slutty as possible tonight” and the other three whooped and hollered in excitement. 

By the time 5 pm rolled around they pulled up to Casa Bonita in the drip. The lady at the Macy’s makeup counter earlier damn near fainted when the four walked in asking for a makeover. Cartman of course had went the traditional route with his classic animal print slut vibes, Kenny looked dashing in his short black skirt and white ruffles and little cat ears and whiskers, Stan wore a cropped tie dye t-shirt and fringe booty shorts and some round pink sunglasses to complete his slutty hippie outfit, and Kyle decided to bring out his inner slut by bringing back Kiley-B, he even picked up some temporary tattoos and hair gel. To say they looked like a bunch of idiots would be an understatement, but when had that ever bothered them before. When they strutted into Casa Bonita they were oozing undeserved confidence, that is until they took a look around. There was a party going on all right, but not a costume party. Kyle immediately grabbed Cartman by the shoulder, “Dude what the fuck?” Cartman managed to look sheepish for a second, “Okay I may have fibbed about the costume part, I just wanted us to do something fun for once, like old times.” “Well we look like fucking idiots, I can’t believe I trusted you!” “Kyle, it’s gonna be fine, just trust me.” “I literally just said I don’t-” “Kyle, you see that middle aged balding white dude over there?” “Yeah, the guy sitting at the bar by himself?” “Watch this,” Kyle let go of Cartman if only to see whatever plan Cartman had crafted go down in a dumpster fire. Instead Kyle witnessed Cartman flirting with a gross old guy and coming back with a tray of margaritas, “See Kyle, my tits are magical, this snizz just paid for all our drinks.” Kenny laughed and reached his hands out, “Damn Cartman, can I get a feel of those magical tits”, “fuck off Kenny” Cartman winked while they all grabbed a glass and tapped em’ together, Cartman leaned toward Kyle, “This is gonna be a lot more fun in 20 minutes.”

20 minutes later Kyle was a little buzzed and the reggaeton beats playing on the speakers hit a little different. Kenny and Stan were enjoying themselves, but Cartman was especially enjoying himself, he could be agile when he wanted to and Kyle could see that in the way Cartman was currently dancing. Kyle would never in a million years admit it, but he was glad Cartman made them go out, even if he looked ridiculous as all hell. He briefly thought that things always seemed to work out in the end when the two of them were involved, but he just filed it away as something he would never speak of again, and for tonight that was enough. So when he sidled up to his friends he flashed a smile that Pauly D would have been envious of and got down.


End file.
